By Eian Snyder, Assistant Camp Director
What if conflict did not have to end with someone winning, someone losing, or someone simply being removed?
What if conflict could become an opportunity to listen, to take responsibility, to repair harm, and grow?
Over the past couple of years, we have begun the long-term work of building a restorative culture and community here at URJ Camp Kalsman.
Our journey began when members of our professional team attended a conference session on restorative justice at summer camps led by Jonah Canner and Brett Gurwitz. That conversation eventually grew into a community of practice alongside several other camps from around the country, all working together to imagine what a truly restorative camp culture could look like and putting action to those words.
At Kalsman, that work is deeply connected to our four norms: We are kind. We are safe. We are learning. We are honest.
Restorative justice asks us to live those values even when it is difficult. It means creating a community where harm is acknowledged rather than ignored, where accountability matters, and where mistakes can become opportunities for growth. One phrase has become particularly important to us and that we constantly use is: “Nobody is disposable.”
That does not mean there are no consequences. Restorative justice is not permission to cause harm without accountability. Sometimes boundaries must be set, and sometimes serious consequences are necessary. But we want punishment to stop being our automatic response to conflict. Instead, we ask: What happened? Who was impacted? What responsibility needs to be taken? And what can repair look like?
This summer, we began putting those questions into practice.
Our leadership team and counselors received training in conflict mediation, active listening, restorative conversations, and circle keeping. All critical components in creating a Restorative Culture. Campers in several of our units (Kochavim, Tzofim, and Kesher) participated in restorative circles throughout each session, creating opportunities for vulnerability, understanding, and stronger relationships.
Every morning, cabins also participated in Kehila Time (Community Time): twenty intentional minutes dedicated simply to building relationships. Together, we have come to understand that restorative communities are built every day, through trust, through understanding, and through truly seeing each other as individuals … not only when something goes wrong.
And when harm did occur this summer, including moments involving hurtful language, inappropriate comments, and conflict between members of our community we worked to respond differently. Campers and staff alike were asked to acknowledge impact, listen to those affected, accept responsibility, and determine what repair could look like.
Those conversations were not always easy.
Restorative practice asks us to resist instincts many of us have learned throughout our lives: to be quick to punishment, avoid discomfort, gossip instead of communicating, or label someone by their worst decision. At times, campers even interpreted our approach as meaning there would be no consequences only to discover that accountability remains very real.
I also witnessed something extraordinary.
Again and again, I watched difficult conversations end with relationships stronger than when they began. I watched people who entered conversations defensive leave feeling heard. I watched people acknowledge harm, offer genuine apologies, and find closure. There were moments this summer when witnessing that growth brought me to tears, multiple times (if you know me personally this is not surprising). There was an honesty and accountability in our community that made me believe even more deeply in where this work can lead us to.
Our goal is not simply to become a camp that uses restorative justice. Years from now, we want restoration to simply be what we do at Camp Kalsman.
We want campers and staff to possess the skills to recognize harm, approach one another, listen, take accountability, and begin repairing relationships without waiting for someone else to facilitate the process. We want returning campers to know that past struggles do not have to define their future at camp.
Most importantly, we want every person who enters Camp Kalsman to know that this is a community where they will be safe enough to be themselves, challenged enough to grow, and valued enough to know that even when they make a mistake, they are never disposable. The hope is that they take these skills and practices and take them into the world to help spread true positivity and true change.
That is the culture shift, and we are only getting started.